Rufus/Darth Rufus

[Tuatara]

Name- Rufus
Species- Sith mix, prodominatly Sith
Gender- Male
Age-20
Skin Color-
Eye Color-
Hair Color-
Faction- Independent/Ancient Sith
Class- Sith aprentice
Clothing- Sith robes
Appearance-
Personality- Rufus hates all other's for their flaws and wishes to bring the Sith back to ruling those that are meant to follow. He doesn't believe in the Rule of Two, saying that if one is strong enough he can control the others and kill those who oppose him.

History- Rufus was born on Yavin 4 and is a desendant of Sadow’s Massassai.

Rufus, as all Sith, was born with force senseabilities. He refiened his power’s more than other’s and the day came when he was visited by the Sith spirit of Marka Ragos, an ancient Dark Lord of the Sith.

"Greeting’s young aprentice. I have watched you for many a year, and I know how you can gain the power you have always’s craved and bring the Sith back to their rightful place as the Rulers of the pathetic life-forms that populate the galaxy. If you travel through this forest, you will find an old sith tomb that your people have forgoten. Go there and seek out Naga Sadow, he is a fool but a strong one. Tell him that Ragnos sent you and that you wish for training and information. But no matter what happens, make sure you find a way to Korriban before you begin to restore the Sith back to their place."

The spirit disapated, and the next day Rufus made his way to the tomb. He finally found away in, and eventually made it to the tomb. There another spirit appeared.

"The dark side is strong with you young one," Saadow said. "But I'll not teach you, the last power hungry boy stole my things after I taught him. You are not ready for Sith Alchemy."

"Ragnos sent me."

"RAGNOS! What makes you think that helps you?" Sadow thundered. "Oh, he was great, but he thought I should share my power with a weakling. If you look around enough, you'll find a sith holocron. If perish or give up, may your soul be tourchered for eternity. Hahaha!" and then Sadow left.

Rufus search for two day's before he found it, and has begun studying it outside Sadow's tomb. He sstill looks for a way off of Yavin 4 so that he can get to Korriban.

Tuatara's 2nd alt (will make account when I'm on a comp that will let me.)

[Jax]

I don't know if Kal has approved this already, and if he has then it kind of trumps my complaints, but nonetheless as a mod i felt the need to give you some constructive criticism. Please don't take this the wrong way, I liked your character idea which is why I want to help improve it.

The story idea is good, but I feel like the character needs a flaw. He was born with force sensitivity and then, without formal training was visited by the spirit of an old sith lord? Or did he refine it through formal training? The details are a little fuzzy there. Maybe if you just write a little more explaining how he came to realize he had force powers it would make things a little clearer. I'm also not really sure what causes Sadow's change of heart to help your character. He goes from saying that Ragnos's recommendation wouldn't convince him to train you, and then in the very next sentence says that he left an old holocron laying around and that you should look for that. I just think some more careful layering would make his backstory more interesting. Also, this is a minor issue, but I'm pretty sure both Marco Ragnos and Naga Sadow's tombs are located on Korriban, not Yavin-4 but that would be an easy problem to fix, just say they visited you outside of their tombs, or have your character go to some cave with dark-force energy in it or something like that.

You definitely have good potential here, and my criticisms are no reason to get discouraged, you just need to iron out a few kinks. Of course you don't have to take my advice, these are just suggestions to help you round out your character.

And I don't know about the name. You can keep it if you want, but to me it just sounds like Darth Vader's dog.

Anyways, I hope this doesn't discourage you. I like your Tuatara character and your Mengo character, and this one at that. I am only writing this out of a desire to help you make this one even better!

[Darth Eclipse]

Sadows has a tomb on Korriban, but is buried on Yavin 4. Ragnos seems to appear on any planet he chooses throughout history, but I can change it to Exar Kun.

I just got the guide to the force book, so thats what's inspired me to make this character.

Name- Gyu; now Darth Eclipse
Species- Sith mix, predominately Sith Kissai
Gender- Male
Age-20
Skin Color- Red
Eye Color- Blue
Hair Color- Black
Faction- Independent/Ancient Sith
Class- Sith apprentice
Clothing- Sith robes
Appearance-
Personality- Gyu hates all other's for their flaws and wishes to bring the Sith back to ruling those that are meant to follow. He doesn't believe in the Rule of Two, saying that if one is strong enough he can control the others and kill those who oppose him.

History- Gyu was born on Yavin 4 and is a descendant of Sadow’s Massassai.

Gyu, as all Sith, was born with force sensibilities. He refined his power’s more than other’s and the day came when he was visited by the Sith spirit of Marka Ragos, an ancient Dark Lord of the Sith.

"Greeting’s young aprentice. I have watched you for many a year, and I know how you can gain the power you have always’s craved and bring the Sith back to their rightful place as the Rulers of the pathetic life-forms that populate the galaxy. If you travel through this forest, you will find an old sith tomb that your people have forgotten. Go there and seek out Naga Sadow, he is a fool but a strong one. Tell him that Ragnos sent you and that you wish for training and information. But no matter what happens, make sure you find a way to Korriban before you begin to restore the Sith back to their place."

The spirit dissipated, and the next day Rufus made his way to the tomb. He finally found away in, and eventually made it to the tomb. There another spirit appeared.

"The dark side is strong with you young one," Saadow said. "But I'll not teach you, the last power hungry boy stole my things after I taught him. You are not ready for Sith Alchemy."

"Ragnos sent me," Gyu said.

"RAGNOS! What makes you think that helps you?" Sadow thundered. "Oh, he was great, but he thought I should share my power with a weakling. But if he thinks you'll help the Sith gain what is rightfully their's, then I'll help you a little. Exar Kun might be willing to help you but I doubt it. If you look around enough, you'll find a sith holocron and a lightsaber. If you perish or give up, may your soul be tourchered for eternity. Hahaha!" and then Sadow left.

Gyu search for two day's before he found it, and has begun studying it outside Sadow's tomb. He still looks for a way off of Yavin 4 so that he can get to Korriban.

May change

[Darth Eclipse]

Name- Gyu; now Darth Eclipse
Species- Sith mix, predominately Sith Kissai
Gender- Male
Age-20
Skin Color- Red
Eye Color- White
Hair Color- Black
Faction- Independent/Ancient Sith
Class- Sith apprentice
Clothing- Sith robes
Appearance- He has four fingers as all sith do, Along with the facial tentacles. Very muscular; his white eyes grow dark as he opens himself more to the darkside.

Personality- Gyu hates all other's for their flaws and wishes to bring the Sith back to ruling those that are meant to follow.

History- Gyu grew up on Korriban, and was as all Kissai are to be 'priests'. While Sith culture changed, most of it did not. The Kissai continue to bend Massai to their will and train them in war.

The Sith kept their peace for thousands of years, but, as the tribes rejuvenated, tensions grew. Gyu began to crave more power, and so began his deeper study of the darkside. Gyu soon realized he couldn't do this alone, but decided against visiting the ancient Sith tombs.

A year passed, and Gyu's tribe began hearing of far off wars, and they began to prepare for the inevitable: the beginning of a long and bloody Sith war. It was around this time that Gyu began to think of the tombs again. And then one night, Gyu was alone using Sith Alchemy on his tribes Sith swords when a spirit appeared.

"My lord," Gyu said as he kneeled. "What is the purpose of your visit?"

"You know why I am here," the spirit said. "I have watched you for the last year, you have so much potential yet you waste it on petty things! Your tripe is the biggest and the strongest, yet their leader is weak. You are not weak, you know what power you have."

"Lord Ragnos, I-"

"Your clan needs their Sith Lord!" Ragnos thundered. "You are worthy of power, now go where you must. You will find power or death." Ragnos dissipated and left Gyu to his thoughts.

Yes, why do I resist my destiny, what is rightfully mine? Gyu asked himself. I am meant to be a Sith Lord, to be the one who brings the Sith to their rightfull place and destroy the Jedi! Gyu left immediatly to visit the tombs.

Tuatara's last alt

[Darth Eclipse]

Hows that?

[Mandalore the Siren]

Looks good to me.
Approved